There's No Place Like Where a Pineapple Is
by Corcey
Summary: Juliet is fed up with the irresponsible Shawn. So she makes a wish that he could be different. Little does she know, different is not always good. Some sensitive issues.


"Can we have fried pineapples tonight?" Shawn begged his fiancé for the tenth time that week for a dinner that included more than the normal amount of the yellow fruit that Juliet was getting quite sick of.

"No," she groaned. "Shawn, you're like a little kid that will eat nothing but one thing. I swear one of these days you're going to turn into a pineapple!"

"Now Jules, that's a scientific impossibility. Although it would be pretty awesome," he considered. "Do you think it would hurt if I ate myself?"

"Shawn, I'm not in the mood."

Just as she was about to get a frozen dinner out of the freezer in the miniature kitchen of their apartment, the power went out. "Shawn, did you remember to mail the bill to electric company?"

"Oh…" Shawn exhaled. "I knew I was forgetting something."

"_Shawn_!" she moaned.

"Easy, relax Jules," he tried to calm, groping in the complete darkness for the drawer where they kept their flashlights. Click. "There you go. I'll mail the bill in the morning and we'll have our lights back in no time!"

"But what about the things in the refrigerator and freezer? They are all going to thaw and go bad."

"Always the pessimist, Jules. It's okay. We barely have anything in there anyway… wait… let me get the pineapple out."

"Shawn, you need to be more-." The prelude to her rant was just beginning when his cell phone went off.

"It's Gus," he told her.

"God, how come every time I start to get a little angry he never fails to call to interrupt me and come to your rescue!"

"Jules…" Shawn said turning the phone off, not bothering to answer it.

"Forget it. I'm going to get us pizza from the place a few blocks down. I'll just walk."

"They deliver, though…. It's kind of nice. Here. In the dark."

Juliet could feel a hand try to clasp hers, but she whipped her hand out of the grip. That was a pretty bold move to do when she was angry, even for him. "For the second time Shawn, I am not in the mood!" Juliet screamed as she left the apartment, slamming the door.

It would be a little over dramatic for her to react like that over a few lights and an overload of pineapple, but this had been happening the last couple weeks, over everything and anything especially the wedding that was in two months. He just wasn't responsible.

Juliet wondered how in the world she had ended up falling for Shawn. He was irresponsible, as stated before, and not only that but childish and a bit spastic at times… at a lot of times. How had she gone from guys like Lars and Cameron to Shawn?

If she had a guy like she used to have, she would have lights to come home to. She would not be stressing out about how they are going to be able to buy an actual house with her salary and his scarce one. She would not have to call every time the bills were due to remind him to mail them. She would not have to try to translate obscure eighties references almost every sentence. She would have a fiancé with a respectable job and he would not bounce around like a five year old to fulfill that job. And most certainly, she would _not_ have to eat pineapple every day of every week of every freaking month!

Juliet had not realized that she was crying by the time she got to the pizza place.

"Are you alright?" the lady at the counter asked her, noticing her red eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine."

"You should wish on a star. It worked for me one day," the woman, who was probably in her forties, advised.

"Okay," Juliet did not know what else to say to that.

She decided not to punish Shawn too much and got a half pepperoni, half pineapple pizza.

Walking home, she felt bored, something that she hadn't felt in awhile with Shawn always around. Maybe it would boost her morale if she did what the woman told her. It would be nice to believe that things could change. Though, she didn't believe in that kind of stuff.

So she stopped. She gazed at certain star in the heavens. She said, "I wish Shawn was more responsible, hardworking, dependable and just plain… _different_."

Juliet sighed as the stars only glimmered back at her, unchanged and showing no sign that they heard the message.

Little did she know, they heard the message.

NewSceneNewSceneNewScene

That morning she woke up to find a note on the pillow beside her. And that side of the bed wasn't a mess? She wiped the sleep out of her eyes as she read the note:

_Went to work early._

_Shawn._

That was unusual, not only did he get through a whole note without writing, "love you" or complimenting her (her favorite note was "you sleep nice") but also, he barely ever went to work early. Well, maybe he had to stalk another cheating boyfriend or something.

That was the first weird thing of the morning.

When she got up to dress, she noticed that in the closet, there were no brightly colored collared shirts. For a second she began to panic, had he left her? And left a silly note saying he was going to work? But then she saw a man's wardrobe, but it wasn't something Shawn would wear, it was things Lassiter would wear.

What in the world?

Did Lassiter suddenly get into pulling pranks and switched the items in Shawn's closet?

Juliet shook her head. She was sure that there was a plausible explanation for this. And a reason why the apartment was not in the disarray it was last night. Had he cleaned up before he left?

In the station…

It was little surprise when she came to find Shawn sitting at her desk. Although it was a surprise to see what he was wearing. He had a work shirt and tie on with slacks and a solemn and serious expression on his face as he examined a file. Was this April fool's day? And Lassiter wasn't even stopping him from going through the file?

"Shawn, what are you doing at my desk?" Juliet asked. He gave her not the playful grin he usually gave her, but a confused and sober frown.

"What, Julie?"

"Since when do you call me 'Julie'?" Now he looked even more puzzled.

"Ever since we met. Are you feeling okay?" he asked cautiously.

"Yes…Where's Gus? And did you raid Lassiter's closet for some reason?"

"Gus? Who's Gus? And what is wrong with what I'm wearing?"

"Gus?" Juliet's eyebrows shot straight up. "You're best friend! Gus. Burton Guster… Gus. Have you hit your head or something?"

"I was about to ask you the same thing." Shawn was genuinely perplexed. "Burton Guster… I think I went to school with him. How did you know that?"

"Because you two are like attached at the hip! What is wrong here?"

"Are you okay Juliet?" Lassiter came from his desk.

"Did you just call me Juliet?"

"Yes…"

"I think she's a bit under the weather, Carlton," Shawn informed his opinion.

"Carlton? What happened to 'Lassie'?"

"Julie are you sure you're alright?"

"No! What's-." That was when the idea struck her. Last night. A star. A wish. Oh no. She had changed Shawn and therefore changed her world, as she knew it. "You're not best friends with Gus. Are you?"

"No," Shawn shook his head slowly.

"And this is not my desk, is it?"

"No."

"It's your desk."

"Yes."

"Where's my desk?"

"Over there," he pointed to a spot about halfway across the room.

"And Carlton is your partner, isn't he?"

"Yes."

"And you've never had a business called Psych?"

"Juliet, are you certain you are alright?" Shawn was worried.

She had to process all this information before she could reply to that question honestly, but she did have that much time as he was waiting for an answer. "Fine. I just don't feel well."

"Maybe you should go home. You shouldn't work in this state," Lassiter suggested.

"What state?" Juliet asked quickly and loudly. In this crazy upside-down world she might as well be pregnant.

"This… bewildered state. You're very confused."

"Yeah. Yeah, well… I guess I'll see you at home," she said to Shawn.

"Bye Julie." She held back her reflex to cringe as he used the different nickname.

Juliet left the station, the new facts were swimming in her head and she felt, as the world around her seemed to collapse. No funny, perky Shawn with his loyal best friend Gus. Shawn and Lassiter were partners. Shawn was a detective… he must have been responsible enough to go to the Academy and become a detective. He must have not gone on his journey after high school and he must have not opened Psych or created the hoax of being a psychic because he didn't need to.

But the whole Gus thing... That seemed impossible. Shawn and Gus were closer than close, she always thought their relationship was impenetrable. No matter what universe they were in, they were always supposed to be the best of friends. Probably, because Shawn was so serious, he didn't need Gus to calm him down and the opposites attract rule did not apply.

Lassiter probably called her Juliet because… well… everything is inverted! This cannot be happening.

Well… she got her wish. Juliet had no clue what to do; she's never been much of a fan of these kinds of movies. She might as well, just… go with it.

NewSceneNewSceneNewScene

Juliet went home, she did not want to take any detours to see how much the world had changed due to Shawn's new founded responsibility. She had no idea how much Shawn's lack of seriousness affected her life.

Although, she thought about giving this a chance, it wouldn't be so bad. She had wished it and it had come true! Why was she being so stubborn? If she wished than that means she wanted it to come true, right?

Reaching the eerily tidy apartment, she decided that maybe this wasn't so bad. The apartment was clean for once, Shawn finally had a job that didn't depend on the paranoia of some guy's girlfriend(s), and she didn't see a single pineapple in the house. Everything was how she wanted it to be.

But something wasn't quite right. Maybe if she went out and bought a pineapple, no matter how much she did not want to see one right now, it would help her adjust to this new Shawn.

So she changed into her civilian clothes (which was difficult to seeing as it was a hot day and about all her clothes had long sleeves on them, but she finally found a blouse) and headed to the grocery store she knew was a few blocks away from their apartment. She ignored a few stares, was she that transparent? Could bystanders see her internal panic at this changed world so easily?

It didn't make any sense… until she was at the store.

She had retrieved a nice looking pineapple that her Sha… _the old Shawn_ would be proud of.

As she was going to pay for it, the cashier looked at her suspiciously.

"Are you okay?" he asked.

"Yes," Juliet answered and then she noticed where he was looking at. Her arms were scattered with black and blue bruises. What? How had she gotten those? And why did she not notice them in the morning when she was taking a shower? Was she in an accident? "I was just… in an accident a week or so ago." She excused, jumping to the first conclusion she came up with.

There were other conclusions she could have thought of, but she did not want to. Shawn… even in another universe he would never…

Juliet paid for the pineapple and left. She felt extremely self-conscious after that so she tried to use the bag with the pineapple to block her arms. It wasn't working.

**NewSceneNewSceneNewScene Break off to next chapter.**

Juliet attempted to keep her mind off the bruises when she got home, but she couldn't and ending up going (well, trying to) online to try to figure out if their were any reports of her being attacked or something. Although, the computer would not allow her to go online, there was some password that she had no clue what it was. Why was there a password lock on her computer?

Her detective skills pointed her in a thought she did not want to think about again. Could Shawn have put the-? No. This was _Shawn_, or at least another version of him. He couldn't. He was a bit protective of her at times, but not this protective.

There was one thing that she knew the old Shawn would never do other than lay a hand on her. It was to refuse something that included pineapple. So, that night, she decided to do a test to see what she was dealing with here. Did he still have Shawn-like characteristics or did he only look like him and his insides were severely mutated? Juliet was going to find out.

Fried pineapple. No matter how unwelcome and disgusting that sounds right now, not that many people would eat it and if this is a total one hundred and eighty degree flip of what used to be, this new Shawn would probably find it disgusting if it actually is a one hundred and eighty degree flip. Right?

So Juliet set to cutting and skinning the pineapple she had bought. It didn't take that long to fry pineapple but Juliet kept getting distracting in her thoughts. Though, the biggest distraction came when she looked into the mirror.

There were faint darkened marks around her neck and their wear some faded markings on her face. How had she not noticed it when she put on her makeup this morning? No wonder she seemed to have more makeup in this world than in her normal one. And she had been wearing that and the long sleeves to cover up her bruises.

Juliet began to feel sick to her stomach. She wondered if it was safe for her to be doing this test, but she's a cop! She can handle herself! But this was Shawn, a very different version of Shawn, but a version nonetheless.

That was when she heard the doorknob beginning turning. It was too late to bail out now.

"Hey, Julie," Shawn said as he got inside. "Are you feeling any better?"

"Yeah. I hope so," Juliet replied, she could help but notice the hesitation in her voice and she was afraid Shawn heard it, too. She then noted that he was staring at her arms, dang it! She had forgotten to put on a long sleeved shirt when she got home.

"What are you making?" he asked, ignoring her bruising now.

"Fried pineapple."

"Ew," an expression of genuine revulsion came across his face. "You know I hate pineapple." Her heart skipped a beat.

"Yes, but I happen to like it," Juliet said, her horror almost showing in her voice.

"No you don't." Shawn put his hand on Juliet's arm, and she was sure her heart quickened to a fearful pace and she was certain her look was borderline scared. "Julie, just make something else."

"Okay," Juliet did not know what was wrong with her. She faced off thieves and murderers everyday, but right now she was scared of just a single man with nothing to actually pinpoint him to this bruises. It's only a hypothesis. Maybe it was because those horrible people did not have the face of the person she loves most in this entire world.

And she stopped making the pineapple. He smirked and leaned against the counter.

Juliet picked up the pieces of pineapple off the cutting board and put the pan away, as she was doing this, she could not deny her curiosity.

"Um, Shawn. I seem to have lost, um, memory of some things. Was I in an accident recently?"

"Accident? No."

"I wasn't? So I haven't got hurt at any point in time?"

"Not to my knowledge."

"So there is no reason why I am getting these bruises?" she had to push it and now she saw a look of anger on his face.

"What's with the incessant questions Juliet?" he snapped, raising his voice. He almost never raised his voice at her, or at least the old Shawn didn't. He would have never yelled at her for such a silly thing as asking too many questions.

"I- I was just. I think I may have hit my head or-."

That was it. That was the moment Juliet knew indefinitely where she had received the bruising from. The moment he struck her.

He then pinned her up against the wall, hands gripping her wrists so tightly she knew she was going to have more bruising there.

"You don't have any more questions, do you, Julie?" he said in her ear, tightening his hold on her wrists.

"N-no."

"That's good," he said and then let go of her.

But he made a mistake; she was no little old housewife willing to take a beating from him. As soon as he back off of her, she made a quick run for the door, surprising him.

Juliet ran as quickly as she could down the hall, not bothering to stop to take the elevator for panic that he might be following her so she practically sprinted down the hallway. She must have earned a few extra glances from people on the street like she did earlier that day, running through them like a mad woman.

Juliet ran until she found the park that was a good distance from their apartment, but it was where she and the old Shawn used to go to have picnics at night. It was at night, all right and it was pretty cold, but she was too distraught to really take much notice.

Luckily, since it was nighttime the park was abandoned and so no one could witness Juliet O'Hara, junior detective for the SBPD, totally break down near the very old and broken fountain that the city had been meaning to replace for months.

She was crying; she just wanted everything to be like it was before that stupid wish. She wanted the power to be out and she wanted to eat fried pineapple and she most of all wanted her caring, sweet Shawn back. She felt so horrible for wishing away someone who loved her with all his heart but made a few mistakes sometimes. Everyone makes mistakes! Juliet felt like a horrible, terrible person.

She wanted her Shawn back. She didn't care how many flaws he had, she would welcome his forgetfulness and most of all, and she would never ever try to change him again. If only she could have her Shawn back.

Juliet was weeping so much that she did not realize the abrupt golden glow shining down from the star she had wished upon. She didn't notice it until it turned into a child, about the age of twelve, and it spoke to her.

"The reason why the bruises didn't show up until later is that it takes awhile for the body to adjust to its new world. It takes on the body that it would have had if the path had been this way."

Juliet had shifted her gaze suddenly once she heard the golden voice talk. The golden voice matched its golden glow.

"Wh-where did y-you come fr-om?" she asked, her tears disrupted her voice.

"I'm the star you wished on," the girl said. "I'm not that old, but I'm still developing my powers."

"W-why did you h-have to gran-grant my w-wish? There is pl-plenty of pe-people who- who wish on st-stars every d-day. Why d-did this hap-happen?"

"My mother thought you needed to be taught a lesson."

"I j-just want m-my Sh-shawn b-back."

The girl sighed, "but you got your wish. You should be happy."

"H-happy with-with that m-monster," Juliet cried. She thought her hiccups were starting to settle down. "P-please, you have to g-get my Shawn back. Please."

"But you wanted this. You wanted him to be different and now he is."

"I didn't actually mean it. It's just… I never thought…"

"You never thought," the star repeated simply and then sighed. "Are you sure you want to go back? You don't want to stay a couple more days to test it?"

"No." Juliet replied. "Please. I have to get back to my Shawn. Not that Shawn."

Slumping, the glowing girl agreed, "all right. I guess you learned your lesson… Now stand up."

Juliet obeyed willingly, wanting to leave at that very instant.

"Now click your heals four times and say 'there is no other place I would want to be than home'."

When Juliet looked skeptical, the star added, "Hollywood messes everything up."

Click. "There is no other place I would want to be than home. There is no other place I would-."

"Jules?" Juliet was aware that someone was shaking her, her eyes were closed and her body was surprisingly warmer than what it was not even a second ago. She snapped her eyelids open, wanting to see if it had all worked. Juliet found herself at her desk at work- her real desk- and being shaken awake by a colorfully dressed Shawn.

"Shawn?" she was immediately woken up.

"Looks like you fell asleep while eating lunch," Shawn commented, seeing a half-eaten sandwich on her desk.

"What?" Juliet said before noticing that he was wearing a bright green shirt. "Shawn. Shawn, you're wearing colors!" She stood up from her sitting position at her desk. Her real desk, to stress that term again. "You didn't raid Lassiter's closet!"

"Yeah," Shawn replied cautiously. "Jules, seriously, why would I _want _to raid Lassiter's closet? The guy is obviously colorblind with an allergy to style."

"Juliet, are you alright?" Juliet hadn't noticed Gus was right beside her Shawn.

"Gus!" she exclaimed. "You're here! You two are best friends, right?" She then enveloped both men in a huge hug, mostly making sure that they were there and it wasn't some joke the star was trying to pull.

"Of course, Jules," Shawn was evidently shell-shocked. By then, she had let go of Gus but still kept her tight hold on him.

"And you called me Jules again," Juliet was ecstatic. "And I know you would never hurt me. You would _never_ hit me."

"Juliet, we both know that Shawn would have a twenty broken bones if he ever tried to hurt you."

"Jules, you know I would never touch you. Where is all this coming from?"

"O'Hara," Lassiter came from behind his desk. "What the hell are you doing?"

"And you called me O'Hara," Juliet was well beyond hysterics. She had let go of her grasp of her fiancé. "And you're not Shawn's partner!"

"Spencer, what did you do to her?"

"Nothing," Shawn denied.

"He did absolutely nothing. I have no idea what happened." Juliet excused. "But I know one thing for sure." She then turned to Shawn. "I will never, ever try to change you again."

"You tried to change me?"

"It's a long story." Was all Juliet said as she calmed down. "And you are _never_ allowed to call me Julie. _Ever_."

"All right, all right, I'll never call you Julie, but… Jules, what exactly just happened? Did you have a nightmare? Those things are scary."

"I honestly don't know. But tonight, we're having fried pineapple. End of story."

She knew exactly that she was home once she witnessed the glimmer in his eyes at the mention of the beloved yellow fruit.


End file.
